Happy Halloween!

Jay came and stayed a night this week.  I feel so bad sometimes because he doesn't do well with Evalynn.  He tries to soothe her when she is crying but its so hard.  All baby girl has to do with me is see me and she will stop crying hysterically.  But, I spend so much time with her and he will see her like 4 times a month.  It makes me so sad.

Yesterday I went to the er I was bleeding very very bad.  I was at work soaking thru a pad an hour.  I actually touched the front of my thick work pants and my hand was covered in blood.  I ALMOST thought I was having a possible miscarriage, even though I didn't believe I could be pregnant.

When I got home from the er I got my mail.  Child support is established.  Its so weird reading those papers.  "365 days with Karmen 0 overnights with James."  "Child cannot move out of state without approval of this court."  That is not what I thought my life would be.

Well I hope everyone has a happy halloween!  Me and Evalynn are having a Halloween movie marathon!  Right after I change this stinky poopy diaper!

Some one did not like being in a pumpkin last night either!

Dr. Visit

So remember how I said the weather was bad yesterday?  Well it caused the most interesting and annoying doctor appointment EVER.

It was a the gyno, I had a spot to be checked out.  So the nurse takes me to the room tell me to undress from the waist down.  So I'm sitting with no pants on with one of those paper sheets over me for about 40 minutes.  All of a sudden a different nurse comes in and goes you have to get dressed and come to the basement!

From my phone I checked the weather and there was a tornado warning for the OTHER side of the county.  So I was very annoyed in the basement.  They let us leave after about 30 minutes.  I was just going to reschedule because I was in such a bad mood.  The nurse practitioner did see me right after we went back upstairs though.  And now I have to go see a dermatologist to get moles removed.  Apparently, they are "highly pigmented" and she "would get them removed if they were on her."

Wiiindy

Severe weather today.  I remember when I first moved into this apartment I was 8 months pregnant.  It was the only month we had crazy storms.  I hide in the bathtub once or twice, not gonna lie.  NOW, I am getting more freaked out because of Evalynn.

She has done just fine with storms so far.  I know I should keep cool so she doesn't learn to be afraid of them.

The other thing about bad weather today is I'm not going to make any money at work.  People aren't about to go out to eat when there is a tornado watch.  So much for my being happy I am third off and and we are in a three instead of the usual 4.  The last few days at work have NOT been good money makers.

Well I have a doctor's appointment in a few.  I will report on that and the towns wind damage tomorrow!

My new life

So my life is crazy, yet boring.  My beautiful daughter, Evalynn, had brought joy to my life that wouldn't be here without her.  My relationship with her father is a roller coaster, that I am trying to end, but can't quite bring myself to do.

This journey began a year ago.  October 2009 is when I found out I was pregnant.  I still can't believe this was a year ago!  One year ago this little girl in front of me was just a a couple cells and didn't even have a a heartbeat yet!  She entered this world on July 4th 2010 at 12:56am via C-section.

I live in a little apartment.  Just me and Evalynn.  Its crazy that for the first half of everyday I do not speak to a grown up.  At night I waitress.  It saddens me that I have a B.A. in psychology and am waiting tables.

I graduated from Michigan State University in May 2010.  I waddled across that stage 7 months pregnant!  I miss my life before Evalynn somedays, but I can't imagine going back!

I'm going to try and get out frustrations and just talk about my life as it is.  I keep a lot of secrets from my family and friends and am just hoping to let everything known on here.  Maybe a few people will be interested in my life.